The Americans believed that every man should have the vote, provided that he wasn’t poor, foreign, nor disqualified by reason of being mad, frivolous, or a woman. Every four years someone was elected to be Tyrant, provided he could prove that he was honest, intelligent, sensible, and trustworthy. Immediately after he was elected, of course, it was obvious to everyone that he was a criminal madman and totally out of touch with the view of the ordinary, common sense people in the street looking to not panic by bringing a towel and t-shirts that read “occupy some thing”. And then four years later they elected another one just like him, and really it was amazing how intelligent people kept on making the same mistakes.

Speaking of which, Americans, like all other people on Earth and in particular man, had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, slavery, prisons, sugar wars, oil wars, linear thought, willful ignorance, writer’s block, religious policies, protecting themselves and others from “failing”, bureaucracy, black ops and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. Conversely, dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.

Teaching: Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.

Mixed and adapted from Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett

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